May you feel more at home with yourself

It's quite hard to believe that we have hit day 40 of this quarantine, and are very likely to be staying home for May too.

There are so many challenges we have all had to rise up to this month, and for most of us despite what our boat looks like through this storm we are all sailing, I think the biggest challenge we all experienced is being able to feel more at home within ourselves.

As life slowed down on the outside in April, my inner world of thoughts and feelings became magnified in so many ways. My mind, at times, raced more than I wanted to acknowledge and more than I had the energy or capacity to deal with at times. I know that was true for many of the clients I work with too.

When we are no longer distracted by the busyness of life on the outside, the racing to meet deadlines, get kids to school, cook, clean and shop not to mention all the other outside things that take distract us.

What's left is space to notice our inner world and sometimes during this month being at home inside myself hasn't always been the most uplifting or joyful place to be.

I have become so aware of just how little time I was spending at home with myself.

April has turned into a month of re-learning to be at home with me again.

It's been 40 days of moving through grief and not being able to say goodbye to a brother I loved dearly and rising to the challenges that 40 days of quarantine has brought both myself, my family and my clients.

What I have learnt in April is to be more present with my inner world and each time I find myself feeling the discomfort of being at home with me I remind myself that I am ok with whatever shows up for me from moment to moment in my thinking.

I am not defined by my thoughts; I am the thinker of my thoughts. I am not the thoughts. I am much more than my thoughts. I am divine loving energy that has an innate capacity to rise and move through all my misunderstandings of the mind.

I have been re-learning, to let go, more and more of the mean and judgemental thinking I have of myself and others.

I am re-learning to drop the expectations that I hadn't noticed had built up again while I was distracted and getting stuck into the busyness of doing life.

I am re-learning to forgive myself each time I have a wobble or meltdown and find myself full of fear, anger, resentment or judging myself or others.

I am re-learning to be here now, noticing my feelings in the moment and recognising when my thinking has got a little bit distracted because I have listened to too much news. Or, spending too much time on social media comparing my life, my business, or my parenting to other people, and feeling like a failure.

I am learning to gracefully move my awareness into a place of love and compassion anytime I notice getting caught up in thinking that causes me to feel anger, resentment fear or any thoughts that bring my mental health into distress and dis-ease.

Most of all I have learnt to feel more at home again inside of me, and as I ponder another month of staying home, I know that at least this coming month I will feel more at home inside me than I have in a long time.

Wishing you a peaceful month ahead and if you would like help to navigate your boat with a little more ease during this storm, you can reach out any time or come over and join us inside the virtual well-being cafe.


Avril xx


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